Day 1 – The “Trigger” to this Major Depressive Episode

I am at extremely low point right now. This depressive episode was triggered by my being “Involuntary Termination” (as in FIRED) from my job. I am an experienced Executive Administrative Assistant with more than 15 years’ experience. However, I have been faced with times when my depression gets so bad that I am unable to work for a period of time. My boss, Vice President of Corporate Development and part owner, says he understands my depression and do what I have to do. I fill out all the necessary paperwork in HR for FMLA leave of absence. I have only had to do this twice in five years. The first time was right after I started working and it had not yet been a year, therefore; I was not eligible for FMLA. But the company said they understood and gave me the time off as long as it was always followed up with proper documentation from the doctor’s office. Which I did faithfully. We don’t have sick days or vacation days, per se, we have PTO (Paid Time Off). Normally this is to be requested in advance. However, with depression you never what day you are going to wake up and just can’t get out of bed that day. So I would call in and use a PTO day. Well after 4 years the HR department calls me in and presents me with a “Written Warning, 1st, for absenteeism and a 90-day correction plan.”  During the next 90 days I cannot be late or leave early or miss any work. The REASON for this is because the handbook clearly states that PTO time needs to be “prearranged.” Ahhhh I say to myself. Okay, I can play by those rules. I can usually tell when I’m having a bad day and think or feel it is not going to improve, so I schedule my PTO days. Then in December of 2011 I experienced another severe bout of deep dark depression. I was crying all the time and couldn’t concentrate, I was filled with self-loathing and wanted to kill myself. My husband, family doctor, psychiatrist (P-Doc) and therapist all felt I needed inpatient care and was admitted. My husband and doctor notified work, HR and my boss and followed up with the necessary FMLA paperwork. I was only out for three weeks. Actually I know I went back to soon. But when I got back there was a very definite change in the weather in the office with my co-workers and Salesmen that I support as well as my boss. My boss was not answering my emails. I talked to him about it. He assured me nothing was wrong. Then, shortly after that, one of the girls, who is my backup when I am out of the office, was terminated. So I had to train a new girl to fulfill my duties with regard to my communications while I am out of the office (I’ll call her co-worker #1). The other girl who backed me up was responsible for covering my Outlook calendar, scheduling, travel, and itineraries for the corporate jet etc., (Co-worker #2).

The new girl (co-worker #1) was very young and made a lot of mistakes. I worked with her and understood her anxiety with a new job and everything. I would review her work and bring to her attention any errors for her to fix. I felt this was a good way to improve her skills. Especially proofreading. At the level we function in and outside the corporation, typos, or wrong numbers just don’t float.

So, anyway, I scheduled a day off to take my MOS certification testing for Word and Excel expert level (MOS stands for Microsoft Office Specialist). These MOS classes and certification testing had been approved by my boss. I try to keep my training down so that I am only out of the office 2 to 3 days a month (1-day classes).. I set my “Out of Office Notification” to read, “contact co-worker #1 for anything relative to Sales, Lab, correspondence and to contact co-worker #2 for flight reservations on the corporate jet.”  I advise that I will call in at 10:00, noon and 2:00 when classes break.

So I go to take my exams (aced them both). When I return to work the next morning I am going through my emails and I see a response from co-worker #2 (who was recently promoted to work in customer service, but she had not yet made the transition). Basically I had a flight scheduled for today, the day I’m reading this email. The salesman sent me a reminder yesterday that their trip was tomorrow and they still did not have their itinerary with departure details and car rentals etc. He received my “Out of Office Notification” so then forwarded the email to co-worker #2, who is responsible for covering this portion of my job when I am out of the office. Co-worker #2 replied back to the salesman, something to the effect of:

“I don’t know if you know it yet or not, but I have taken over a new position. Please contact Pilot Company XYZ directly,” and then sent his request back to him AND also copied XYZ Company on the email. I was very upset that she replied in such an unprofessional manner.  She certainly could have (and should have) followed up with XYZ Company and obtained the necessary paperwork on behalf of the salesman.  So I sent co-worker #2 a relatively nice but curt email stating that I realized she had a new position coming up but that no official notice or transfer of duties has been implied or expressed. There was no reason for her to bounce that email back to the salesman and XYZ company. I believe she should have followed up on this request and it shed poor light on Our Company in the eyes of our professional partner, XYZ Company.

I continued to state that effective immediately I would write a notice that co-worker #2 was no longer the POC for the company jet.”

I copied her boss (he’s a real idiot too) and HR on the email as well.

At around 11 o’clock the director of HR asks if I can come see her after lunch, say 1:00? (Note: This is the same HR director who just told me last week that my annual presentation on Travel Expenses impressed the other VP of Operations.  (He had very limited exposure to my work.) He was really pleased and would like me to start attending the quarterly review meetings under my own position (as opposed to taking notes or representing my boss).  She made it a point to pass this information along to me.)

So I go in her office and 1:00 pm and she asks her assistant to join us (never a good sign). She sat down, straight-faced, and read me a one paragraph termination letter effective immediately because I wrote an email to co-worker #2 that was “perceived” as chastisement and I am not her supervisor. Handbook section 111 states, “… yadda yadda yadda not cause discord or disrupt harmony in the workplace, yadda yadda yadda…”

I was livid. I told her she had to be kidding me? There is a precedence set where I train these girls on how and what to do in my absence. If something is done incorrectly, I bring it to their attention. I have been operating in this capacity since I started four years ago. Basically it comes down to responsibility without authority (which is nothing new if you are good at being an Executive Assistant – goes with the territory). But I was like, “hey, all my performance review are good, satisfactory or excellent. I only had the one written warning on attendance. You don’t think this could be handled with a warning?” I certainly did not feel it was enough justification for termination.

So we finish my exit interview and go over all the confidentiality BS, turn in badges, etc. She gave me a paper box and told me to clean out my desk and her assistant (“Flunky”) would walk me to the door. OH I WAS SMOKING.

I picked up a big pile of papers at my desk and was putting it in the box and Flunky says, “you can’t take those, that is work materials and belongs to the company.”  I said, “LOOK, its birthday cards, my calendar, my 401K stuff and EOBs from Health Insurance. Everything in this pile is mine.”  I put the pile in the box.  I continued to take down my pictures and empty drawers, etc. Purposely taking my time because I knew Flunky was inexperienced and nervous as hell. And I was so pissed off there was nothing anyone was going to say to me. Then, I quickly started forwarding the subject emails that got me fired to my personal email address so I would have a record. Well, you should have seen old Flunky freak out. Screaming at me that that computer is work property and I can no longer touch it. I got three of the important emails sent off that I needed. But by this point she is pulling my keyboard away from me and saying she is going to call the cops. I’m like, “whatever.” So then I purposely slowed down loading my personal items from my drawers even more. Then Flunky gets shitty and says, “that’s it, that’s enough, let’s go, right now.” I still had a locker I had to clean out, but by this time the whole office know what was up, so I took my leisurely stroll out the door. Wishing everyone well and saying goodbye. (of course my heart was beating out of my chest and I knew I was going to start to cry.) I made it to my car and out of the parking lot before the waterworks started.

I called my husband and told him what happened. As soon as I got home I tried to login on my remote access and my password was denied. I’m like shit, shit shit, There is so much stuff on my computer, all clearly marked “Personal” that I wanted to get off of there. So now I’m pissed again, so for shits and grins I tried to buy a $2.99 book on ebay using my company credit card. *&%$#% Nope. No go. Okay, so now I’m like, they had to have been planning this way before this morning to have shut me down so fast . My company cell phone, VM, everything was shut down.

Then I called my attorney ……

To be continued….


4 comments on “Day 1 – The “Trigger” to this Major Depressive Episode

  1. hello there and thank you in your info ? I have certainly picked up something new from right here. I did on the other hand expertise several technical issues using this site, since I skilled to reload the web site many times prior to I may just get it to load properly. I have been thinking about in case your hosting is OK? No longer that I’m complaining, however sluggish loading circumstances occasions will sometimes have an effect on your placement in google and can harm your high quality ranking if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I’m including this RSS to my email and could look out for much extra of your respective fascinating content. Make sure you replace this again soon..

  2. Hello depressive disorder,

    Thank you for your kind feedback. I am new to blogging and wordpress, so I’m not sure what would be making my site load poorly?

    I am glad you found my topic fascinating. I have continued this post …. Read on!

    Have a great day my friend,

    Dark Lady of Depression (aka Deepest Dark Depression)

  3. Have you ever thought about writing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.

    • Hello Stacy,

      Thank you so much for your reply. I intended to respond via email, but then I “approved” your comment and POOF, your post details were gone. I’m sure I will find them shortly. I am very new to WordPress, can you tell?

      Regarding my writting, I love to write. In the corporate world I move in, having the ability to capture and express tough, technical and complex issues and reduce it to writing is an absolute must. I would definitely like to become more involved and hopefully helpful to others on the net dealing with these discrimination issues. Like I said, I’m still new to all this. But since I find myself currently unemployed I now have the time. I still don’t know how to do Facebook right! How sad is that? I was always too busy working.

      I’m blabbing. Love to talk too. He he. Have a great day my friend and i will email you soon.

      Dark Lady of Depression

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